Let me be freakishly ghoulish and graphic for a moment to illustrate the power of fear. On July 4th, 2009 Sahel Kazemi, with a newly but illegally purchased pistol in hand, approached Steve McNair as he lay asleep on his couch. According to police reports, Kazemi shot the sleeping McNair in the head, then twice in the chest, and then once again in the head. She then turned the gun on herself.
What was the motive behind this murder-suicide? According to police investigators the motive was part fear and part jealousy. A relationship conceived in deception – McNair deceiving his wife and children by taking up with another woman; Kazemi deceiving herself that McNair’s love was long-term – will always reap disaster. It was reported that McNair was considering leaving Kazemi for yet another women. Kazemi was afraid she would be left alone and forgotten. She was afraid of not being able to meet her financial obligations and was extremely jealous that McNair’s already illicit affections were being set on another woman who was not his wife. As the mob would say, five quick ‘taps,’ four for him and one for her and it was all needlessly over.
We have found that Fear always shows up as something else, in this case it cloaked itself as rage and jealousy. Fear can make a person crazy and irrational. The lunacy of fear may not be as dramatic or as violent as demonstrated in the Kazemi-McNair affair. Yet, fear can drive us to make crazy decisions based upon jealousy and irrationality. We believe Fear is powerful enough to end lives, hurt kids, and break hearts.
So, before you act, decide, and choose pause for a moment and ask yourself – have I lost my way in a web of fear that is causing me to make fear-based decisions that are harmful and self-destructive? Maybe, just maybe, had Kazemi possessed the tools to ask such a question, both she and McNair would still be alive and our shock at such a tragedy would have been a non-factor.
We will be drilling into this at our next event here in Nashville, August — a private 3 day event.
Our thinking affects what we do. Who we are affects our thinking. And who we are is defined by Whose we are. This is important because our mission is to increase the number of people who get end of their lives and say, ‘Wow I didn’t know I had it in me.’ Our mission is to challenge people to ask a two-fold question, ‘What am I do right now because of fear? And, what would I be doing with my life if I weren’t afraid?’ Because of Fear both Kazemi and McNair lost out on life.
In May of 2001 missionaries Martin and Gracia Burnham were kidnapped by the Abu Sayyaf, a militant, Muslim group who controls much of the Philippine jungles. The Burnham’s were held for 376 days. In fact, on June 7th, 2002 Martin was killed, a casualty of a battle between the Aby Sayyaf and the Philippine military who were attempting to rescue the Burnham’s.
There is a kind of fear that is closely associated with depression. It is a form of dread that you sense on a rainy day when you’re feeling ‘blue’ and melancholy. It’s the kind of fear that immobilizes a person from action, isolates a person from hope, and inhibits a person from desire. The nature of this anxiety is the feeling that ‘all is lost’ and that every avenue out or up has been exhausted, leaving you exhausted – spiritually and mentally fatigued. What to do? First, it’s ok to feel this kind of melancholy fear, but not for long. Some of my most creative moments have come during these 
